The Black Cloud

2019 has not been pleasant so far. The first week of January Bill Cummins Sr. suffered from a perforation of his colon. He underwent surgery, the hole in the colon was repaired, and he worked hard and got well. He disliked it but got even stronger on the skilled unit at the Lutheran Home.  24 hours or less after discharge Bill was readmitted with a fever. He had pneumonia and spent several more days in the hospital. That was January. We took turns as a family sitting with Bill, encouraging him, and making sure he was getting the best of care.

In February Nancy, Steve's mom suffered a fall from her wheelchair. She did not complain but 2 weeks later her leg was swollen and upon further exam it was determined she had likely broken her hip in that fall. Plus she had blood clots in her leg making her a high risk surgical candidate. Family agreed at that time there would be no heroics offered. Nancy has had Alzheimers for many years and did not know us anymore. No more suffering. Instead she was given pain medication and made comfortable at Clarissa Cook Hospice House. She passed away about 2 weeks later. Bill was well enough to visit once before he suffered another health issue.

This time it was a GI bleed requiring 4 units of blood.  The gastroscopy revealed he had many, many ulcerations of the stomach--some of the worst the doctor has seen. Biopsies were taken and eventually the pathology report revealed he had lymphoma. He was in the hospital with this episode of illness when Nancy died. After lengthy discussions Bill stated he "just wanted to drift away". He wanted no treatment for the new found cancer. Family determined to admit him to hospice. Arrangements were made to have Dad in Mom's same room at hospice. So, less than 24 hours later, Bill was admitted to Nancy's same room at Clarissa Cook Hospice. We thought we would have time. more time. 12 days after Nancy died, Bill died.

It felt like the entire month of March we had a black cloud hanging over 42 Birchwood Dr, Blue Grass, IA. The Thursday after returning from bereavement for Bill's passing, Monica my sister-in-law died unexpectedly. She had been treated with radiation in 2018 for a cancerous nodule in her neck. She had made so much improvement by Christmas and they even found her CT scan to be free of cancer in February 2019. It just did not make sense. More sadness. Another funeral. Only this one was different watching those who I love suffer from a loss we had not expected or potentially planned for. She has 3 kids still at home. This was much different. She was 50.

If three deaths was not enough we had other items failing in the background. All three vehicles were serviced and 2 of the three had repeat visits for issues! Major dollars which made our suffering seem heightened. Its hard to go without one vehicle even for one day. Our family has so many moving parts.

The morning after Monica's funeral Steve was called off, no work. We determined he would take Xavier to school and I would stay home and get caught up on some things and then go to my parents to do a few things funeral related. He noticed he had a nail in a tire and said he would go and have that fixed since he had time. Great idea. Of course, the tire could not be fixed. We must still have a sliver of the black cloud still above our house. A new tire was needed.

Upon my return from Donahue I received a phone call from Steve. "Could you stop and buy a new mailbox and post from Farm & Fleet?" In my mind I wondered why today he felt he needed to replace the wiggly mailbox. It was only leaning a little bit. Reluctant I said, I was not feeling like stopping at Farm & Fleet. "Well, there is something I should tell you before you come home." Whats up I replied.... "I burnt the mailbox down." YOU WHAT? "I burnt the mailbox down!" How..."I was using the grill lighter to burn some dead leaves and brush around the mailbox...the fire was out...I went inside the house..."

"It wasn't until the mail lady pulled into the driveway and laid on the horn and said YOUR MAILBOX IS ON FIRE! that I knew it was burning....I could not figure out why she was honking, it was not like her!"

Yes, we needed a new mailbox.