Stan Oxendine62 years of marriage, 6 children, 21 grandchildren, 19 great grandchildren and millions of memories later, Nancy Cummins tragically left us after her long fight with Alzheimer’s. The woman who championed family above all else, spent her final moments surrounded by all those who loved her, and if you knew my grandma there’s nothing she would’ve wanted more. And she would be so happy knowing were here in the church she called home, celebrating her life.
For those who do not know me, I am Stan Oxendine, grandson of Nancy, son of Mary. When asked to do this, I couldn’t think of a better way to honor the woman that largely made me the man I am today.
As I began to brainstorm what it was I was going to say today, I had to decide what grandma I’d be speaking about today, the Nancy of decades past that could light up the room with her charisma and affinity of boxed wine and from what I learned last night her ability to be the life of a 70th birthday party, leaving a lasting impression on all those she met, or the Nancy of recent memory, who was reserved, yet curious, however she remained a fighter, strong as one could be.
With Alzheimer’s you so often here about how tough it is to watch your loved one endure its course, because it’s like losing them twice, however I’ve chose to think of it as getting to know and love two different Nancy’s that were uniquely amazing in their own respective ways. There’s the Nancy that many of us in this room know from many years, but then there’s Nancy that us family got to know over the course of the past few years. A Nancy that quietly displayed her true self and untold strength. She became this person that showed her true being at all time without a semblance of social pretext, while fighting this disease with every ounce of her being, and it was an honor to know that Nancy, and I realized that I’d doing my grandma an injustice not to honor both chapters in her life.
From the time Bill and Nancy first met in 1955 playing hooky from school, to where we find ourselves today; those two built a family and legacy from the ground up, and the foundation of where we find ourselves today I believe is based on one thing: unconditional love. Nancy truly loved her family unconditionally, no matter the circumstance, or mistakes that her children or grandchildren made, she was by your side without judgement. She was there for us when we needed her, and we were there for when she needed us the most, by her side as life’s journey came to an end. The value of being a loving wife, mother, grandmother, aunt was not only priceless, but the core of her very being, and she would be so proud of her family to come together the way we have in the times we needed it most. She lived to make our lives better, for us to make her proud.
As life’s journey carries on for all of us, there will be times in which we need her judgement-free unconditional love and advice, an arm to cry on, or just a hug from the woman who was always there, however I hope that we can now turn to each other to find the pieces of herself that she left in each one of us. That’s where Nancy’s legacy truly lies, in each one of us. Honoring her would be relying on each other and being there for each other, the way she was for us. Nancy isn’t as far away as many of you think, she’s right here in all of us. Her compassion lies within all of us.
Thank you so much grandma for your endless humor, wisdom, unconditional love, but most importantly always being for yourself, until your final breath. You showed me what strength truly is. Words really cannot express how thankful we are for what you’ve done for us. We love you, grandma. Until we meet again.
March 1, 2019
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